Why Are You Divorcing Dad?

By Chad Foster, Family Law Attorney · Updated July 17, 2026

How to Talk to Your Child About Divorce

For many parents, especially mothers, few conversations are more emotionally difficult than telling a child, “Mom and dad are getting a divorce.” These words carry immense emotional weight—for both the parent and the child. While the divorce rate in the United States has fluctuated over the years, it remains a significant life event that affects millions of families.

If you are a parent navigating divorce, your children’s emotional well-being will likely be one of your top priorities. It’s important to acknowledge your own emotional state and prepare yourself before initiating this conversation. Take a moment to breathe. If you anticipate becoming overwhelmed, keep tissues nearby and give yourself permission to pause or step away briefly if needed.

Anticipating Your Child’s Questions

Children often need time to process the news. One of the most common questions they eventually ask is “Why?” When responding, tailor your explanation to your child’s age and emotional maturity. Physically positioning yourself at their level—by kneeling, crouching, or sitting—can help foster a sense of safety and connection.

Here are a few example responses that may help guide the conversation:

Mom and dad aren’t happy when we’re together. We believe we’ll be happier living apart, but that doesn’t mean you have to choose between us. We’re both your parents, and we both love you very much. You’ll have two homes now—mom’s home and dad’s home—and both are yours.

You can normalize different family structures by referencing people your child knows:

Joey lives with his grandma, and that’s his family. Erika and Bryn live with both their parents, and that’s their family. Families come in many forms, and all are valid.

Reassure your child that they are not responsible for the divorce:

Mom and dad are dealing with grown-up problems. These problems are not your fault, and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent them. You are the best thing that ever happened to us.

If possible, having both parents present during this conversation can be beneficial. It reinforces the message that the child remains the central priority.

Finally, offer consistent reassurance:

We love you very much, no matter what. We will always be your parents, and we will continue to take care of you.

Physical affection, such as hugs, can help reinforce emotional security. Reiterate your love frequently and clearly.